Marriage is a free gift from God to be treasured.The Holy Writ, rightly says, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” When God instituted marriage, He intended for it to last long and for a lifetime.
But, alas! Most marriages have ended before time. Some have divorced, while, others have separated. Many are merely going by in their marriages. They are enduring it rather than enjoying it.
It is for these reasons, I want us to look at some, because the list is inexhaustible, of those things that can destroy, yeah, have destroyed a lot of marriages in our society. They are what I call THE CATERPILLARS OF MARRIAGE. We shall look at only twelve of them.
CATERPILLAR 1: ABSENCE OF LOVE
What keeps two individuals with different family backgrounds going together? It is love. What keeps two individuals with different interests, different educational qualifications and different likes and dislikes living together peaceably? It is love. Selfless, sacrificing, and unselfish love. If this kind of love is absent in a marriage, that marriage will not last. Love is the lubricant needed in every marriage to keep it going
CATERPILLAR 2: INFIDELITY
Infidelity in marriage simply means unfaithfulness to one’s spouse. It is breaking the marriage vow. Infidelity is when a married man or woman “falls” in love with another man or woman. It is becoming more interested in another man or woman other than one’s spouse. It is becoming intimate with a man or woman other than one’s spouse. It should be seriously guarded against. It destroys marriage very fast but secretly.
CATERPILLAR 3: BARRENNESS
What a couple expects to see few months after taking the marriage vow is pregnancy. But, if after waiting for two to five years, it is not forthcoming, the man or woman begins to lose interest in the relationship. And, may be highly tempted to look elsewhere in other to get that need of child-bearing met. This could and has destroyed many marriages.
CATERPILLAR 4: POVERTY
The importance of money in marriage cannot be over emphasised.Money helps marriage greatly as basic needs and wants that require the use of money are met. But, when these basic needs and lack are not met, it could lead to such conflict that is capable of destroying the marriage. When a man is unable to provide for his family, in most cases, loses respect before his wife and children. When that happens, the marriage would not be able to stand well.
CATERPILLAR 5: MISTRUST
Marriage is all about trust. A man sees a woman and trusts her to take care of him as a wife for the rest of his life. A woman sees a man and trusts him to take care of her. But, when a man loses confidence in his wife in any area and verse Versa, their marriage suffers. They cannot fit into each other’s lives anymore.Such marriage in which there is no trust in each other collapses with ease.
Couples should trust each other deeply. No matter what a man or woman hears about his wife or husband, they should trust each other so much to hardly believe it.
CATERPILLAR 6: SUSPICION
Suspicion is a marriage destroyer. It should never be given a breathing space in marriage at all. Suspecting your spouse to have done something wrong is a clear evidence that you are not thinking the best of him or her. Reject the suspicious feelings. And think your spouse as honest in any matter as you are. When a spouse becomes suspicious, he or she would soon pack out of the marriage!
CATERPILLAR 7: WRONG COUNSEL
When you accept a wrong counsel on how to treat your spouse and carry it out, be sure to obtain a negative result and see it affect your marriage negatively. Mind whom you take counsel from when it comes to marriage issues.
CATERPILLAR 8: EX – LOVER’S INTERFERENCE
If you are still keeping your ex-lover, be sure that your marriage would not last. When you got married, your spouse became your best friend and all time lover. No other person should be allowed to interfere with the relationship, no matter how nice he or she was to you before marriage. Such things as chatting with your ex, keeping his or her pictures, making or receiving calls from your ex, sending or receiving text messages from your ex, could hinder your marriage. Failing to break up with your ex-lover means breaking up one’s marriage.
CATERPILLAR 9: UNFORGIVENESS
The couple who fail to forgive themselves when wronged hardly last in a marriage relationship. Offences are sure to come when two people live together. But, when it comes, the best thing to do is FORGIVE.
CATERPILLAR 10: LACK OF INTIMACY
When a couple stops relating sexually, they begin to form cracks in their marital walls. And if allowed to linger, the wall will eventually collapse.
CATERPILLAR 11:GRASSWIDOWHOOD/WIDOWERHOOD
This happens when a man or woman, in the name of employment, ministry or whatsoever regularly leaves his/her spouse for a long period of time. Those that find themselves in such situations are regularly depriving their spouses the benefits of marriage. Those that cannot endure such deprivations end up leaving the marriage.
CATERPILLAR 12: LACK OF COMMUNICATION
It is in communication that couple know the mind of each other per second, per second. So, if thre be a communication gap, it must must be bridged very quickly. A marriage without proper and effective communication will crumble in the shortest time possible. Couple must always communicate their minds to each other in every situation they find themselves and never to assume they already know each other’s mind. Assumption could be very misleading. Else, their marriage is heading towards doom.
There are many other caterpillars which can destroy your marriage. What poses a threat to your marriage is a caterpillar. Deal quickly with it.
